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Desperation equals misguided thinking
Women that are so desperate to get married they sometimes seem not to think straight. Having all your friends and younger siblings or cousins getting married can be very disheartening. Especially discouraging when you have dated this man for what seems like forever and still no ring on your finger.
Other women you know meet a great guy and within a year they’re engaged. Some are actually married and a year earlier it was the last thing on their mind. Where as you want to marry and this great man of yours won’t even hint at marriage.
He just won’t commit
His famous saying “we love each other we don’t need a piece of paper to prove it”. You are tired of hearing this and know in the back of your mind he is leaving the door open to make an exit someday.
Not committing to marriage makes it much easier to split. This is a big red flag as how he sees the future with you. He might be happy the way things are but it doesn’t really give you any security for him being there for the long haul.
Wall of resistance
Living together makes it easy and comfortable for a man. After two years of this and no plans of marriage could be a sign of things are not going so well. When you bring up the subject of marriage and hit a wall of resistance with no valid reason this may mean he has some deep seated issues.
If he is not talking about what the two of you will be doing together five or ten years from now pretty much tells the ugly truth, he sees no future with you. Future conversations should be about such things as buying a house together, children, retirement, etc.
Divorce can and does happen
Many marriages do end in divorce but they were never entered to eventually end up that way. Couples get married with the intention of it being forever.
Why he doesn’t see a future with you
Unknowingly you maybe doing things to keep this man from committing to you? He is unable to see a future with you and this could be for many reasons. Do you criticize the way he acts? Do you get annoyed because he won’t pick up his clothes or he leaves the cap off the toothpaste, dirty dishes in the sink, etc.? Do you correct him or mother him? If he doesn’t feel respect from you or feel like your hero it will affect his ego. He may not even be able to identify what it exactly is that keeps him from wanting to marry you. Find out what is holding him back and you might be able to turn things around.
Your final choice
If you are desperate or brave enough you can give him an ultimatum if you can’t figure out why he won’t commit. The ultimatum: “marry me or I am leaving”. First you had better be sure you want to hear the answer, if he says “no”, you will now need to leave. Once put into play if you want any sanity from all of this you cannot change your mind. He may have a change of heart after a few days and come with a ring and willing to set a date. No matter how much you don’t want to end the relationship, you must if you give an ultimatum, taking him back when he won’t commit will leave you worse off than before. Be sure you are absolutely ready to walk away before presenting an ultimatum.
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Don’t fall for this habit
Eager to impress a guy we tell far too much about ourselves as we want to stand out and make him realize he would be a fool to let us get away. Maybe we do have a lot to offer and would be the perfect wife, but it comes across as we are desperate. Not something that a guy sees as very appealing.
Do you sabotage yourself?
Don’t turn a compliment into a character assassination done by you? Pointing out your flaws when you receive a compliment shows low self esteem. We all have many flaws, but not until you mentioned it, I didn’t notice that your nose was slightly crooked.
Accept a compliment and don’t follow it up with what is wrong with you. Most people usually never even notice it. But if you want to tell me your hips are too big…I am going to look and no matter what I say, I will mentally take note of it and to myself I will agree or disagree. But every time I see you, you can be sure I will be checking your hips out and you had better make sure they are not getting any bigger! See what I mean, you destroy yourself with silly talk.
Be gracious and accept
Have you complimented one of your friends only for them to come back with something negative about themselves? Most of us have been guilty of this at some time or other in our lives, I think it pretty much comes with the character of being a woman. We were taught to be humble and somehow we interpret it to not being worthy. But we are worthy and should graciously accept such lavish compliments. They are usually given from the source of love and if they are not, then just pretend they are, as you have the right to be complimented. When my daughter was about five a friend had said to her how pretty she was. Much to my horror she replied “I know”. We laughed but let her know the correct reply was “thank you”.
We all have flaws
Men seem to be able to go through life without ever bringing up flaws and will accept a compliment without ever letting you know any flaws he thinks he has. He is very aware of a list of flaws he has but will never be stupid enough to let on. If he did take the time to list his flaws you would probably disagree with his list. Most likely he would never tell you his biggest flaw, so why on earth would you want to reveal negative stuff about yourself.
Of course you will come across those who think that they are flawless. But I am sure that deep down they are so scared that someone will really find out what they are hiding. We all know that no one is perfect and we all have flaws.
Be careful what you say
Revealing a fear you might have such as being held down could end up being your biggest nightmare. You should never reveal such things to people you have just met, you don’t really know enough about them to honestly feel safe. Showing your vulnerable side to someone who you are not engaged or married to is a big risk.
Be careful what you reveal about any fears or flaws about yourself. Make sure it remains something that you don’t care if the whole world finds out. If the relationship ends it could go public. So what are you willing for others to know about you?
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Watch this free video Girl Gets Ring
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Watch the video or you can read the post below the video.
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To learn what you need to get a man to commit Click here
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Don’t reveal past relationships
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Everyone seems to want to know why you are not with someone already. You have the ‘whole package’ as they say and yet you are still single. They are inclined to wonder what is wrong with you and then proceed to try to find out. Never answer questions of the private nature. There is no reason why a man on the first date or two with you should be afforded an explanation of why other relationships you had did not work out. This is a private matter and better left unsaid. Sometimes a simple answer will suffice if it is something that you never want repeated in a new relationship, such as physical abuse then by all means mention it in as few words as possible. Don’t discuss details it is really none of anyone’s business.
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The past is in the past and should remain there. You gain from having had relationships that did not survive. You now know what you will not tolerate, what you expect from a lover and how to treat others. If you don’t know what went wrong then you should go about trying to find out before you waste your time on another failed relationship. There are answers and everyone is entitled to have someone to love that loves them back.
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Have class and integrity
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Broadcasting how someone done you wrong shows no class. They may have been a poor choice, but you made the selection…don’t ever forget that! What you do to correct bad choices in the future will rebuild any loss of self esteem from a crumbled love affair. Nobody likes to lose at love…it doesn’t feel very good. But it happens and what you gain from the experience can miraculously put you in the arms of the perfect man if you have done your homework on this one.
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Bad mouthing a man you had a relationship with could leave a new suitor wondering what you would say about him if he ended a relationship with you. He might decide it would be a risk he does not want to take with you and end up leaving before anything ever started. You could be jeopardizing the chance of having the perfect man to marry.
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Heed the warning signs
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If a man’s ego had been compromised in a past relationship he might say some pretty negative things about a woman. Put yourself in the woman’s position and is this how he would talk about you if you ended a relationship with him. Maybe not a pretty picture…maybe time to leave! Would your reputation be at stake if you walked away from him if you allowed the relationship to go beyond a few dates?
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Six months into a relationship is still no reason to reveal all the ugly details of a relationship that went south. It takes two to make or break a relationship…what was your part in the demise of the affair. Better to be certain on what your contribution to the relationship was so that you can avoid repeating it over and over.
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Take time to avoid the hurt
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Learn from past relationships so that you can be wiser next time around. That guy that took your breath away, was he all that wonderful? Your friends kept warning you about him but you couldn’t see it or is it that you just didn’t want to come down off of cloud nine and see the reality. A man that says all the perfect things all the time is a charmer and every girl’s fantasy, but it usually is ‘too good to be true’. Men are not usually that intuitive to be everything a woman wants, unless he is trying to play a number on you. That is the true hard reality. If men were more like women they would know exactly what to say and how to make us extremely happy. There are a few guys that get it right, but even they mess up at times, so don’t be fooled by the sweet talk. Keep an eye on reality!
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Be observant and aware
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Don’t ever feel pressured to reveal past relationships, it is your private life. Just be aware of the warning signs that someone you are with doesn’t have the same kind of character flaws that you ended your last relationship for. You don’t want to repeat the same mistakes and end up with the same kind of dysfunctional relationship over again. Girl Gets Ring can teach you how to find a man that is perfect for you. Believe it or not there are plenty of great guys out there.
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